☀️ i wouldn't have believed me either

The phone rings. My fate hangs in the air.

“I’m calling, but they probably aren’t open right now, anyway.”

They answer.

Crap.

“It’s your lucky day! We have open ice-skating exactly at this moment until 2pm.”

“REALLY!? HAHA. NEEEAT.” I stare at the beaming birthday girl. “That is…GREAT news.”

I hang up.

She’s delighted.

I’m panicking.

“Hear me out. What if we do literally anything else?”

“Mom. It is… my birthday.”

Cue existential crisis.

I’m the birthday queen. I’m the improv-trained “yes and”. I never, ever turn down an adventure ESPECIALLY on a birthday. It’s kind of my WHOLE BRAND.

And also.

I. Don’t. Want. To. Do. This.

Oh. GOD. Please don’t make me do this.

“Your dad is more of the ice skating guy. What if….”

“Mom…..”

“Nora. I’m terrible at ice skating. And it hurts my ankles. The last time I tried was twenty years ago and I fell on the ice and was miserable. I hate ice skating. We could go bowling! Or putt-putt! The art museum? The mall.”

“Mom…”

“I will give you one thousand dollars cash—“

“Mommmmm.”

“K fine.”

As we neared the rink, I realized I had betrayed every rule in the mindset handbook.

-I had said I’m terrible at something: self-limiting belief.
-I assumed since I was bad at a skill previously, I would be bad at it today: fixed mindset.
-I was responding to a 'no-biggie' as if I was in crisis: catastrophizing.

I’m pretty sure if you collect all three at once, they kick you out of the life coach club.

Honestly, it was five bucks to do the open skate and we’ll probably stay for 30 minutes anyway. What was my problem? This was not a big deal.

I decided to try out a mindset experiment with absolutely no hope of it working, but it was worth a shot.

“Nora. I’m sorry about my attitude. I’m having so much fun with you and who knows! Maybe I’ll be better at ice skating this time!”

“Mom. I’m sorry if I sounded spoiled. We can do something else. I don’t want to make you sad.”

“No. I’m ALL IN now. It’s going to be fun.”

I needed socks, so we stopped at a store. They happened to have the world’s most perfect white beanie right in front.

“Nora. This is perfect. See! I just needed an ice skater’s costume. NOW I’m ready.”

Then I laughed to myself and thought “It’s the “act as if” hack.”

“Act as if” , mindset strategy: acting like you've already achieved your goal. By thinking, feeling, and behaving like the person you want to be, you start to believe in yourself more and create the success you're aiming for. It's about using confidence and visualization to help make your goal real.

We rented the skates, and verrry slowly tip-toed onto the ice, gripping the side wall for dear life.

Inside I thought, “Yes. Correct. I hate this.” But saying that out loud would sabotage my experiment and reinforce the negative limiting beliefs: “I’m bad at ice-skating. I don’t enjoy ice-skating.”

I would have to “try on the opposite belief” if I was going to try to completely reverse my reality in less than thirty minutes.

“Try on the opposite belief”, mindset strategy: challenging your current limiting belief by adopting the exact opposite perspective, even if just temporarily. Instead of sticking to negative or unhelpful thoughts, you intentionally shift to a more positive or empowering belief to see how it feels and what results it might bring. This technique helps break mental patterns and open up new possibilities using the brain's reticular activation system. And the best part it can even work on a skeptic who doesn’t believe it can work.

I decided to give it a try. But to ease into it, I thought:

“What are some positive things I can feed my reticular activating system that are already true?”

I am good at….roller skating. This shouldn’t be much different.

I have always been a pretty quick learner at most athletic things.

I love a funny story, even if I’m the punchline. So this whole experience is already a hoot.

I noticed in my brain: my attitude felt completely changed to positive.

However in my body: my fingers were still white-knuckling the wall.

Now for the real challenge, could I actually learn a new physical skill by hacking positive thinking?

Could I actually hack my body with the power of the mind?

I had my doubts. And by doubts, I mean… I looked at a seasoned skater doing a fancy turn and thought “there’s no way in hell.”

Then I, sort of, zoomed out my view and saw that there was collectively twenty people there that were confidently skating without holding the wall. They appeared to be of various ages, shapes, and athletic ability and ALL of them had managed to learn this.

If they can do it, surely I can do it. This must be possible.for me.

Believe you can…

I started to study a man nearest to me.

Success leaves clues…

I examined and observed and broke down some key elements.

I decided I was overthinking the motion. And the slower I went, the harder it was to balance because I had no momentum working for me.

Wait, I think gipping the wall is actually making it harder.

I think the easiest thing to do is to actually let go, get out of my head, and get into my body.

And If I fall on the ice…, I trust that I will find a way to get back up again.

OH MY GOSH, CAN I GET A WORSHIP BAND TO SOFTLY PLAY A G-CHORD RIGHT NOW. IS ANYONE HEARING THIS SILENT MENTAL TED TALK?

I released the wall, locked my focus on the skater’s feet in front of me. I allowed my body to mimic his moves. I surrendered. I quite literally pretended to be a skater…and suddenly…

…I was skating…

For real! it was like it unlocked!

I was all the way around the rink in thirty seconds and I was laughing in delight like a senile toddler.

Nora’s jaw dropped.

“Mom?! How did you get so good?”

“I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING. I’M THE GREATEST SKATER WHO EVER LIVED!”

We laughed.

“Can we go now?” She asked. “Is it okay if I don’t think I actually like ice skating?”

“ARE YOU KIDDING? I JUST DISCOVERED MY LIFE’S PURPOSE!”

The skeptic learned to skate through the power of positive thinking? Wow. I don’t think I would have believed this story myself.

What about you? Is there a skill you have deemed as “something you can’t do” because of an old memory?

Hit reply and let me know. (And I’ll get back to you right after I practice my triple axles.)

xoxo- Katie Day (write back soon!)

Current Growth Goal:

My "75 Fun" social media experiment starts today. Can I show up on social media every single day for 75 days without breaking the streak? Can I enjoy it and share habit hacks without overthinking it? STAY TUNED. (Also what is a tiktok?... Cuz I think I do that now.)

Up Next:

My third daughter, Sadie ALSO has a birthday this week. Three in a row. I call it the annual "birthday gauntlet". Mine is 4 days after hers. So all four Day girls have birthday in the span of 3 weeks.